A Rude Awakening

The other night, I went with some friend's to eat at Jim 'N Nick's Bar-B-Q . It's a new restaurant in town so half of the local population was there trying to get a table. We were very patient (well, patient enough) and were finally seated. We were having a good time joking with the server...and then it happened. Now, anyone in the general vicinity or even sitting at the table would not have noticed my "rude awakening", but I did. Our server's name was Baker and as we were talking to him, another server walked up to the table, stood next to me and started talking to us. Her name was Kiera and she was quite attractive...kind of a Courtney Cox look-a-like for you Friends fans. The thought of her attractiveness stayed in my mind until she said she was 19 years old. Thanks to my lovely math teachers in the Prattville school system in the late '70's and early '80's, I quickly realized that there was an 18 year age difference. Within seconds, thanks to my "birds-and-the-bees" discussion with Dad, I realized that I could be her father?!! It's true! I could have fathered a child at the age of 18 (please notice I said "could have" and not "did")! As a result of these quick realizations, I immediately began looking at Kiera and telling myself how cute she was...not attractive. Cute, Ryan...not attractive. Cute...not attractive. Cute is the word used to describe babies and little girls in their Easter dresses. And now I am basically being forced to use that same word for a 19 year old! Hence, the title of this posting.

Once I coped with this very troubling realization, I was able to enjoy our conversation. Her name reminded me of the Mr. Mister song in the decade of the '80's. I asked her if she knew the song and started singing it to her. She quickly interrupted and said, "Mr. Mister. Where do you think my parents got my name?" That's when I found out that her parents were 7-8 years older than I am which sent me back toward my state of depression. I recovered and enjoyed the rest of the night eating beautiful barbeque and talking to Baker and Kiera. I guess my night made a slight recovery when we asked Kiera to guess how old we were. She thought we were all early thirties. While my three friends were offended having not left their 20's yet, I was quite pleased...especially when I told her I was actually 37 and saw the surprised look on her face.

Well, as the years pass, I guess I should expect this to happen more frequently. I need to prepare myself and get used to it. Just remember, Ryan. Cute...not attractive.